Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Anger management!

In modern society, anger is viewed as an immature or uncivilized response to frustration, threat, violation, or loss. Conversely, keeping calm, coolheaded, or turning the other cheek is considered more socially acceptable. This conditioning can cause inappropriate expressions of anger such as uncontrolled violent outbursts, misdirected anger or repressing all feelings of anger when it would be an appropriate response to the situation. Also, anger that is constantly “bottled up” can lead to persistent violent thoughts or actions[1], nightmares and even physical symptoms[2]. Anger can also aggravate an already present mental health problem such as clinical depression.
Many people believe that depression is in fact anger turned inwards. This is because many depressed people react to stress by turning their anger inward as a response to physical or mental abuse or neglect from parents or others. One secondary effect of the depression sufferer’s denial of anger is that their interpersonal relationships are often unhappy and unhealthy.
Another side-effect of anger is that it can fuel obsessions, phobias, addictions and manic tendencies. Many people who are not able to express their anger will let it out in some sort of furious activity which can result in clinical depression or even bipolar disorder. Anger can also fan the flames of paranoia and prejudice, even in normal, everyday situations. People tend to express their anger either passively or aggressively through the fight-or-flight response. The passive “flight” response is repression and denial of anger for safety. However, aggressive behavior is associated with the “fight” response and the use of the verbal and physical power of anger to abuse and hurt others.
Methods of anger management:
1.Psychologists recommend a balanced approach to anger, which both controls the emotion and allows the emotion to express itself in a healthy way. Some descriptions of actions of anger management are
2.Direct, such as not beating around the bush, making behaviour visible and conspicuous, using body language to indicate feelings clearly and honestly, anger directed at persons concerned.
3.Honorable, such as making it apparent that there is some clear moral basis for the anger, being prepared to argue your case, never using manipulation or emotional blackmail, never abusing another person’s basic human rights, never unfairly hurting the weak or defenseless, taking responsibility for actions.
4.Focused, such as sticking to the issue of concern, not bringing up irrelevant material.
5.Persistent, such as repeating the expression of feeling in the argument over and over again, standing your ground, self defense.Courageous, such as taking calculated risks, enduring short term discomfort for long term gain, risking displeasure of some people some of the time, taking the lead, not showing fear of other’s anger, standing outside the crowd and owning up to differences, using self-protective skills.
6.Passionate, such as using full power of the body to show intensity of feeling, being excited and motivated, acting dynamically and energetically, initiating change, showing fervent caring, being fiercely protective, enthusing others.
7 .Creative, such as thinking quickly, using more wit, spontaneously coming up with new ideas and new views on subject
8.Forgive, such as demonstrating a willingness to hear other people’s anger and grievances, showing an ability to wipe the slate clean once anger has been expressed.Listen to what is being said to you. Anger creates a hostility filter, and often all you can hear is negatively toned.